notmypresident: (Dancing Bears)
I've been going through a bit of a personal crisis/re-evaluation of late.  I haven't really blogged about it here, for a number of reasons.  I've covered some of the physical/sexual aspects over in my other blog,  but have more or less stayed away from the topic in this, my "regular" blog.  Suffice to say, this is something that's a tad more important than whether or not I got layed at a convention (an impression some might have been left with).  It's actually a lot more important than that.  I'm chalking it up to my mid-life crisis, even though I still have two more years before I hit the Big Five-O.

But writing about it here in detail might seem as if I'm wallowing in self pity, and I don't think I am.  I've already taken a few baby steps to try and change some things in my life.  I finally signed up with one of the bigger court reporting agencies here in town, the one I always said would be my "final" goal when it comes to agencies.  Of course, I will start at the bottom of the ladder -- which means getting the jobs that other reporters don't want.  But hopefully, that won't last for long.  The only downside is that July is a notoriously slow month; right now I have ZERO depos scheduled for this week despite being registered with four different agencies.  I can only pray to the court reporting gods that something comes on calendar at the last minute.

I went square dancing this past Wednesday with the Oaktown 8s group.  They're fairly new (less than a year old), but they have a lot of spunk.  To me, visiting their dance night was important to me after convention.  I tried to keep my social awkwardness off the radar screens and made a point of being friendly but not too friendly.  Peggy, the group's caller and de facto leader, was especially nice.  Not to toot my own horn, but I did pretty darn good when it came to dancing.  Even Peggy said so, as she admitted she had been watching me to evaluate my dancing.  "You were even leading your own square at one point," she said -- which I trust was a good thing.  I'm currently between a rock and hard place when it comes to moving on with my dancing.  The general rule of thumb seems to be that one needs to learn both the "boy" and "girl" position before moving on to Advanced, the next level.  I've already learned the "girl" part (which I believe is the more difficult of the two) and feel that I could quickly pick up on the "boy" part.  But Advanced classes are starting in several months -- and if I miss this round, I'll have to wait about a year before moving up.  Ugh.  I need to find a solution, and I'm hoping to speak with Peggy about that this week.

I'm also trying to shore up some of my own personal disciplines as part of this "road to recovery."  I'm back on the treadmill every day -- convention was a real incentive, since I lost a few pounds from dancing so much.  I almost ordered a second piece of equipment this weekend from the Home Shopping Network (the "gazelle," a low-impact whatchamajigger).  But I think I'll stick with what I have for now.  It's not so much that I want to lose a great deal more weight (though that would be nice) so much as I don't want to gain the weight back that I've already lost. 

Well, that's enough blogging about all that.  How about I just cut to this Made In Heaven Favorite Bear of the Moment?

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