2017-03-06

notmypresident: (Awkward!)
Over the past couple of months I've tentatively struck up a conversation on bear411 with someone who was once a friend. We knew each other about a decade ago, so there's been a lot of water under the friendship bridge. I initially decided — yes, me — that we should go our separate ways not because of a falling out or a fundamental disagreement but because he ran with a bunch of folks I no longer wanted any part of. What's more, he wound up taking as a lover one of the three men in San Francisco that I truly loathe and despise.

Now, I know that everyone says friendships should endure beyond such things, but I doubt anyone saying this has actually tried to accomplish it. Scheduling alone makes it nearly impossible, and then the one person begins to resent the fact that you don't want to be around his friends and/or lover. And then the other person begins to question why someone would partner up with the scum of the earth. But maybe I'm projecting there... This guy actually did nothing to me. He was (and is) someone with an incredible heart, and I never had one bad thought about him (well, maybe one or two after learning who his lover was).

When I contacted him on bear411 all this time later, I truly didn't know what to expect. My ultimate goal was to let him know that he had once done me a kindness that I will never forget, and I was finally able to relay that to him after a few weeks of succinct back-and-forth messages. Since then, our IMs have progressed to where we're a bit more casual with one another. I've been the one to push for the progress, but that's understandable given that I was the one who originally ended the relationship. But what shocked the hell out of me last night was when this big puppy dog of a man suggested that he hadn't been the best of friends to me over the years! WTF? I immediately wrote back and told him that I was the one who should be saying that.

I hope we'll continue to be online buddies. I don't think we can (or should even try to) reform our original friendship. Again, there's been too much water under that bridge. But it's nice to know that old axes have been buried and that we can at least have some form of friendship from here on out.

And now, Another Hot Guy.

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